I have written so much about swearing because I have kids and swearing is a SHOCKING thing to be doing regularly when you have impressionable little souls.
I’ve written about swearing in music (which I love) and I’ve written about my eldest child mimicking the F bomb when she dropped something (which she got from me. Charming, I know). She’s only ever said it once though, before you judge me. DON’T JUDGE ME
But now I’m going to make a public declaration fit for a New Years Resolution: I’m going to stop being such a potty mouth.
I really notice my swearing when I’m around non-swearers. Yesterday we had lovely, non-swearing, friends over and in the midst of blaming my husband for my potty mouth (no really, he is to blame. I was not a big swearer 12 years ago) he proceeded to say that he has some kind of ‘switch’, that switches off his swearing if he’s in the presence of non-swearers.
I don’t quite believe this yet but suffice to say I will be keeping an eye on him to validate these switch claims.
Me, on the other hand, have no filter, or switch, per se. I use the F word a lot in conversation, particularly storytelling. Because the F word makes for increased drama and hilarity, right? I mean. How boring is telling a story without swear words, particularly if they are in desperate, realistic, dramatic need for them?
The interesting thing about all this is that I never swear in my tweets or on my blog (although I have once or twice if I am especially ranty). But generally speaking, if I do believe I am in need of an F word, I might change it to FARK or F*ck, because I hate the sight of it associated with my name. I mean. I like to READ F words coming from other people, because totes funny and relatable, but hate them coming from me in a written capacity.
Could I just be in denial, trying to portray a ladylike version of myself in the written, more eloquent word?
Well if I am, it’s time to come clean. I’m a swearer. A potty mouth.
Lately though, I’ve been thinking a lot more about this swearing business. Another friend that has kids a little older than mine pretty much looks like she’s about to punch me every time I swear, and even though I am hugely apologetic and remorseful when swear words slip my tongue, it doesn’t take long before I do it again.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?
Some people laugh when the swear words fly out of my mouth. And for a second I think I’m funny, like, um, I’m telling the story really well. Because f*ck and shit and f*ck and shit. And then I realise they are probably thinking gosh Kat has a potty mouth and the laughs are that of the awkward kind and I’m not quite as hilarious as I think.
SO THE MORALS OF THIS STORY ARE
The last thing I want to be is a grubby potty mouth. Because #NotHot
The last thing I want to do is raise potty mouths. Luckily I have kind of learned to reign in the swearing in front of my kiddies but if I am having an adult conversation in their distant presence, sometimes I can’t control it
The last thing I want to do is take anything away from my ability to be able to use good, decent words to explain myself or tell a story
So as of now, I’m toning it down. Really, truly toning it down. I swear #PunIntended
Disclaimer: Resolution does not apply if the story is in DESPERATE need of an F word. Or if someone is in DESPERATE need of an abusive word, and IDIOT just will not do.
Are you a swearer? How did you tone it down?
Do you HATE friends like me?