How low can the Real Housewives of Melbourne go?

Real Housewives of Melbourne

*This post is a very happy collaboration with Ben and Jerry’s because what better combination than reality TV and ice-cream?*

Look. I did say I wouldn’t blog about the Real Housewives of Melbourne again because, you know, time and words are valuable. But like the predicament I find myself in when faced with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk in my freezer, I just can’t stop myself.

I mean. It is unfortunate and almost criminal that I’ve used these particular housewives and the deliciousness that is ice-cream in the same paragraph. For that, I am sorry. Because it’s something Ben and Jerry flavours like Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Cluster fluff (Peanut Butter Ice Cream with Peanut Buttery Swirls, Marshmallow Swirls and Caramel Cluster Pieces) truly do not deserve.

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But I will say that ice-cream is a good remedy for watching these women just be. It’s the perfect remedy for reading their (Lydia and Andrea in particular) twitter timelines in discombobulation and outrage. It’s the perfect remedy for just sitting there and dismally realising that this is far more than poor behaviour. It’s more than just a show. These women are just plain nasty.

*Blogger helps herself to a big spoon of ice-cream while shaking her head*

So. To the impossible task of summing up. 

I’ve said on Twitter before that as a self-proclaimed Housewives expert, this is by far the worst series. Here’s why.


Of course, every Housewives franchise has their resident meanie/s. But this show is beyond even that. Each meanie that I can think of in all the other Housewives series has a little bit of personality at least. They’re either funny or entertaining or at least have half-valid reasons for their vitriol other than late late late, drag queen quips, spray tan ridicule and flea-ridden dog and clown calling to use as story lines.

These girls are just mean. And only mean. And soo not funny. Who can forget Andrea calling Chyka ‘Switzerland’ as a nickname and laughing so hard at her joke she nearly peed her pants? Or when she called her dog a ‘Bitch’ and then said, ‘Well, she is a female dog.’

*Blogger cringes and shovels in another spoon of ice-cream*

And then there’s the email that we’ve heard so much about and have not yet seen. But even if the truth will be revealed like they continuously claim on twitter, how do they defend the constant snide remarks about Gina’s appearance? How do you excuse the bully and gang mentality that has been the main theme of this show?

All we have seen with our own eyes is the nastiness of Andrea, Lydia and Janet predominantly. No editing can create behaviourNo editing can create wretched words spoken. You are what is filmed, no more, no less.

The interesting thing about it all is that Gina, who the girls claim to be the main aggressor, for the most part, has kept fairly quiet.


The latest hideous revelation 

*Blogger opens up a new tub of ice-cream*

So yesterday, a supposed anonymous employee at Foxtel wrote an ‘Open Letter to Gina’ in an attempt to discredit her.

Are we meant to believe that this person, someone with an actual job on the line, went out of their way to start a blog page because they wanted the world to know the truth?

Can someone transport me back to NSW because apparently I’m in Gullible City. Toto, I want to go home.

Here’s the link for your simultaneous amusement and disgust.

I took a few things from this letter. You, of course, can reach your own conclusions.

- It mentions Gina’s physical appearance (spray tans, make-up, hair) numerous times. Sound familiar?

- It mentions Gina being a smoker – something we haven’t heard prior to this. Lydia has mentioned this repeatedly on her Twitter timeline when commenting on Gina’s cancer recovery. How low can Lydia go, really, to even comment on such an issue, let alone try to project a public image of Gina’s health recklessness? 

Cancer is a serious, often deadly illness, and not a brush, as she carelessly put it on Twitter. How shameful.

- It again accuses Gina’s ‘mogul’ partner – who still cannot defend himself – as cheating on her repetitively. Charming.

But it’s this paragraph in the letter that really got me.

“Your ex-friend the skincare queen, well she just loves her fucking self and is making a list right now. So you decided she was the best bet to shit on. I know having a husband and father of her three babies (wait where’s yours?) is upsetting for the mother of a few men’s offspring (children are off limits according to you, so I’ll move on.)”

*Blogger has 3 large spoons of ice-cream and gets brain freeze thinking of the aforementioned paragraph in the letter*

To accuse Gina of being upset that Andrea has a husband that is the same father to all her children is beyond cruel. And to refer to these kids, who are real people, as offspring as opposed to Andrea’s babies is just awful. And mean. And low, really low.

Charlotte’s law – campaigners for tougher cyber-bullying laws following the death of Charlotte Dawson – cited this letter as cyber-bullying at it’s most extreme. I tend to agree. It’s vile.

And it’s from another Mr or Mrs Anonymous. A Troll that claims to ‘work for Foxtel’.

This putrid letter reeks of damage control. For some of the wives, their reputations are now so horrid (from their own actions, let’s not get it twisted people) that it appears to be a clear attempt at saving them – and the use of an anonymous Foxtel employee is just to give the words a bit of street cred. #EpicFail

Unfortunately, anyone with half a brain can see straight through it.

Where does it all end?

What I usually LOVE about the housewives is that it’s, for the most part, a bit of fun. There’s not much collateral damage after all the craziness. It’s still bitchy, but not sinister like the Melbourne version.


Pre-Melbourne housewives, after a long day, I would love to just chill and watch the US gals act a bit cray-cray. I’ve never blogged about them because I don’t think too much about the show after I watch it. It’s my guilty pleasure, for an hour, at the most.

But as a strong woman, this series sparks different emotions for me. I find it horrifying because it’s clearly not just a show.

Will it all end at the reunion? Will the truth be revealed as they claim? And will we see anything that will justify their actions?

I doubt it, I really do.

Are you Team Andrea or Lydia? Do you think the truth will be revealed at the reunion?

And tell me – do you love Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream as much as I do?

I love to hear your comments and appreciate every one of them. Always love a discussion so please – join in!

  • Transient Amnesia

    So, do you think they still go, you know .. outside?

    • Kat

      I reckon each day they wake up and think, “Today, I will meet a fan that will tell me how fabulous I am.”
      And then they turn on their phones, read their twitter accounts and lock the doors and close the blinds.

  • Lee-Anne

    I have a confession, I have NEVER watched The Real Housewives of Melbourne!?

    But my daughter raves about Ben and Jerry’s…she goes into so much detail about the exquisite taste and texture that I’m convinced she’d sell her mother for a few tubs. :)

    • Kat

      Lee-Anne! If it was any other Housewives I’d say ‘No! You must set your IQ and watch immediately’ but in this case, I reckon you’re on point by keeping that rubbish off your telly. Now I’m invested I’m livid – but if the same cast are in Season 2 you can bet I’ll be hitting the road!

      Now as for Ben and Jerry’s – a far more desirable subject – it is the BEST ice-cream. I first tasted it in Holland years ago and when I saw it here at my local servo I actually nearly DIED! It’s the best. Go out and buy and enjoy NOT watching the Housewives of Melbourne x

      • Lee-Anne

        LOL! Am pondering on indulging in this indulgence VERY soon. ;)

  • Anna

    I totally agree with you Kat. On a Sunday night you just want to sit down with your cup of tea or glass of wine (or ice cream) and relax and be entertained. This series has done none of that except bring out negative emotions and we are not the only ones. These women are a good example of how not to be, money or no money, except for Gina who has managed to retain her dignity.

    • Kat

      Hi Anna – I know how you feel. Zero entertainment – all it does is annoy us (and I don’t know about you, but if this cast stays the same, I’m ditching Season 2)

      And agree, if anything, this show teaches the viewers that money definitely does not buy you class.

  • Cat B

    It’s really hard to read that open letter to Gina without hearing it in Lydia’s voice.

    The really sad part is they are all just following Andrea’s lead – how high school! They are acting despicably to Gina only to please the “Queen Bee” – is her approval really worth it to them? I hope the enjoy their free botox or whatever “perk” they must be received to act so disgustingly vile on Andrea’s behalf. Funny that they (especially Lydia) are far less savage when not in the earshot of the top mean girl.

    Their husbands, children and friends must be mortified. How can Janet even consider commenting on physical appearance when her own son is a burn victim – shouldn’t she be making a concerted effort on his behalf to show that what is on the inside is what is important to her.

    I would like to see season two scrap Andrea because I do feel that Lydia and Janet may redeem themselves without their evil pupet master. I do genuinely like Chyka, Jacki and Gina – I think the three give RHOMelbourne a (shine shine) shin-ing glimmer of hope.

    Oh and Ben & Jerry’s…
    Y – to the – UM!!

    • Kat

      I know, right? You would hope Lydia wouldn’t do something so evil but people will go to serious lengths to save themselves… And it really is that pack, mean girl mentality that bothers me the most, very much high school indeed.

      Have to say I don’t think Lydia can redeem herself, I think she’s just as bad as Andrea in her own way.


  • Shane

    “I’ve said on Twitter before that as a self-proclaimed Housewives expert, this is by far the worst series.”
    So true. I’m a huge fan of the Beverly Hills & New York series but this Melb series is a very poor imitation (almost a caricature) of lives lived much larger than here at home.

    • Kat

      I LOVE ALL THE HOUSEWIVES – except for this one. I actually can’t wait till it ends so they can (hopefully) reshuffle the cast!

  • Maria

    Lydia schiavello practically admits to knowing about the email before it surfaces…

    @lydiaschiavello: @MariaSharap0va @trulymadlyme Let’s see if you are still of that opinion by this afternoon

    • Kat

      I noticed that too! Too much of what was said in that letter was on her twitter timeline.
      How sad and bitter if that’s the case.

  • Wenmelb

    Where do I start with the bullying? I think it has all been said. Lydia, does not have the smarts to cover up the email secret for long.

    I still laugh at the seriousness of her profession to be an “art collector”. “The Mona Lisa, named after the one at The Louvre in… LONDON!!!???” Seriously. Can she be that ignorant? Her ridiculously unintelligent comments crack me up. Oh and the rudeness towards Brynne Edelston, “we’re more famous than she is” Really?? Petty much. Still I tune in every week and enjoyed Monday curled up on the couch watching the marathon. It’s like watching a train wreck, you don’t want to watch but you can’t look away. So sinfully bad, it’s good.

    • Kat

      Exactly! The email was so defamatory, I’m sure some investigation will be done..

      As for the London Louvre… Give me strength.

      And I know! Her saying “we’re the stars here!” – OMG. Sad. I’m tuning in now only because I’m curious to see what they reckon they have on Gina – but if they’re back next year, it’s over for me!

  • Lucy

    This franchise hasn’t been as good as the American ones because Australia unlike America really doesn’t like people having money… And you see this view and obsession with money or ‘coin’ referred to in almost every episode… I find it so tiresome… And then Alex Perrys comment ” what’s the most expensive item you’ve bought” just bores me to tears…. That’s all this series wants to talk about …. So thank god we’ve got some relational issues in the show because if we didn’t have this Mean girl storyline there’d be nothing much to this than the producers trying to show women with money and their money and labels in every frame.

    • Kat Caravella – Mamma’s Vida

      Hi Lucy, thank you for your comment and I completely agree. We have something of a Tall Poppy Syndrome in Australia when it comes to wealth and it’s really obvious on the show. Like when Lydia said “I have more money than you” to Gina – I mean, who actually says that stuff?

      • Lucy

        Ya, the tall poppy thing is really ruining the show imo. The producers like to mock the women.. the women mock each other.. and Jacky wants to talk about how much everything costs… TIRESOME!!! I hope the series can move forward but I think its always going to be a problem because this love/hate r’ship with money is so deeply entrenched in our culture. You don’t see this “problem” in the American shows… Americans don’t apologise for being successful when they are, and hence they don’t have such hidious money related self hating character flaws!

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