#RHOMelbourne Episode 8 Notes: Cringe central


Look. I didn’t plan on recapping the Melbourne Housewives since my Mid-Season rant last week but after more promises from our resident mean girls via tweet-tweet that the truth will be revealed about Gina - I’ll admit I felt deflated.

This truth they speak of? The one that will be revealed in the reunion? It better be good. 

Because darlings. You are looking more like the Evil Housewives of Melbourne and let me tell you – it aint a good look.

This rant would like to single out a few of the wives because they have inspired me – against my better judgement – to write about them again.

Because who can deny good material? 

P.S. It’s not a compliment.



You know who I really feel for every time she makes another spectacle of herself? Her seemingly normal husband – who surely can’t be too happy with his wife’s on-screen behaviour.

The book

Andrea was on her usual mothers are so disorganised and I’ve got the perfect life and balance and my kids are exceptional and I’m exceptional and wonderful and perfect rampage when she asked the clearly bamboozled publisher lady whether she liked the idea of a working mother’s letter of revenge to another mother. She said something to the effect of I’m going to tell them to get a job, get organised and you can have my perfect life.

No words can describe the great delusion that encompasses this woman’s existence.

Note to Andrea: I’m a working mother without a nanny or a checklist. My kids are loved and loved and loved and I do just fine – professionally and personally. The poor manner in which you speak about other mothers offends me greatly. Quit judging other mothers (and women) and perhaps they’ll quit judging you.

The Mean-Girl behaviour

I knew it sounded wrong when she first said it. And twitter confirmed it shortly after. Andrea was with Lydia bitching about Gina Gina Gina Gina for the gazillionth time when she used the word forsyth instead of foresight. If this teaches us one thing people – it’s that you don’t need to be a wordsmith to get a job in media. Or on the Real Housewives. #Tranqueel #ThanksLydia

Honestly. Andrea is out of control. I know its just a show but the pack mentality she is trying to create amongst the women is just really putrid viewing. And the fact that the girls are co-operating (minus Chyka – who they can all learn something off) is nothing short of abhorrent.

When is it ever okay to constantly gang up on someone? When?

I’m going to repeat what I said last week. I don’t care what happens behind the scenes, I don’t care what is edited, I don’t care about off-camera, on- camera, legal letters bla bla bla because as grown, professional women, your behaviour repulses me.


I thought I was dreaming when she called Gina a poor ugly dog that is annoyed because we’re all rich in this episode.

I had to re-wind.

Because who says that shit?

Maybe I’ve been living under a rock since 1999 but things like this just aren’t said amongst the normal women I know. And believe me, I have met, and personally know, some wealthy and hugely successful women. Real Women that do not speak like that.

How embarrassing. For them.

But what gets me is the constant hypocrisy. They keep banging on about the C-word and Gina being late… One wonders if they have Foxtel at home and can see with their own eyes the malicious smack they talk.

One wonders if they cringe the way we do.



Far out, Janet. Honestly. We had such high hopes for you at the beginning. You seemed like you were fair. Honest. Gutsy. Real.

It’s sad that you have allowed a 23-year friendship – regardless of your issues with Gina – play out this way on national telly.

Gina gave you an opportunity to discuss your issues privately at Mission Beach. Your very real issues with her always being late.

And you, as a grown woman, still did not get it. You still did not get that it was unfair for her to be the recipient of an ambush on television (or even in real life).

In this episode, your two faces popped up again. You congratulated Gina on turning up to Chyka’s event to her face and said good for you! - but in the interview, behind her back, you said the nerve of her.

Why should Gina not attend Chyka’s party? Is she not allowed one friend? Not one?

Unfortunately for you, Janet, our glowing first impressions of you are now but a distant memory.

The others


I do not have enough positive words for Chyka. Not only does she do her business, brands, husband and kids proud, but she conducts herself the way all women should. With grace, honesty and dignity.

She’s a real boss and you can tell. She owns herself. You go girl.


Let’s be honest, even though she did egg the girls on in Mission Beach and does participate in the slagging, at least she is telling the other girls to get freaking over it.


I don’t know what she supposedly did off-camera and I don’t know what proof the girls have of this in the reunion to come (I’m guessing it’s just more petty stuff) but all I can say is that this chick needs to teach actual lessons in cool, calm and collected-ness. She’d make a fortune.

And the constant looks of you’re insane and you will look it on television towards the girls are completely priceless.

In summary

Janet said something in the media recently, words to the effect of Gina is doing all these things behind everyone’s back and she’s coming out like roses on the show.

Janet, you cannot create things through editing. They will always be your words and your behaviour.

Nothing you girls will ever tweet or say can reverse the way you have behaved. And if it means that Gina comes out smelling like Roses – then get your chauffeur to drive me to the florist that sells her brand so I can buy a great, magnificent bunch – because all you girls are resembling at the moment are weeds. 

What are your thoughts on the crazy gals from Melbourne? 

  • http://transientamnesia.wordpress.com Transient Amnesia

    I could not possibly agree more with what you have written.

    Part of me actually feels sorry for Andrea (I know that sounds crazy), but I would not want to be waking up as her since the Mission Beach episode aired. I think a few women have been subjected to this kind of ‘mean girl’ bullying in their lives, and watching Gina handle it with such humour and grace is quite inspiring. Perhaps they should show this program to younger victims of bullying to show them that A) it’s not their fault, and B) that the bullies are actually the weaker members of the group, and look terrible to anyone observing them act this way.

    I hope the publics overwhelming support for Gina, and bad reaction to her and Lydia’s behaviour will eventually be a wake-up call for Andrea, but I am not holding my breath.


    • Kat

      I know what you mean about feeling sorry for Andrea. Surely her behaviour can’t be easy to watch (even for her) and the backlash must be nasty! I truly don’t think she anticipated the public despising her (and her sidekick) this much – but that’s where mean and spiteful behaviour gets you.

      Gina’s response was just so calm – I don’t think I could have kept myself together.

      Glad the piece resonated with you!

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