Look. In theory, I’d love to be a clean eater.
Raw, unprocessed, good, real good, food that will make your insides shine. And Kale. Kale seems to be the ‘thing’ these days.
There is so much about clean eating that sounds fabulous. Eliminating the crap. Choosing well. Eating more greens. Cutting out the evil stuff we all love. You know, ridding your life of flour! Rice! Butter! Sugar! Chocolate (replaced by Cacao… Errr)… and the list goes on.
For junk-food-worshipping, cupcake-loving, pizza-devouring, bread-baking, fast-food-craving humans everywhere, Clean Eating sounds like the ultimate nightmare. I mean, not only does it drastically limit your food on the run options (muesli bar? No. Quick vegemite toast? Nah) and shopping centre food court selections, but, I mean, who has the time?
And what do you eat when you want to be naughty? Are clean-eaters even allowed a break? Ice-cream? Chocolate (the real kind)? Dirty burger?
So not long ago, I read something somewhere about sugar intake being a cause of potential heart disease in little kids when they get bigger. And because I have little kids, I took note.
I have little kids that love freddo frogs. And nutella sandwiches. And killer pythons (the jelly kind). And ice-cream. Oh, how my biggest one would kill for ice-cream (no, really. Her obsession for it is scary)
And so I decided, that’s it! There would be no more sugar in this house! At least for 90% of the time. And that’s when I made it my mission to be able to whip up the most amazing and decadent delicacies using only good stuff. Cacao would replace Chocolate. Coconut oil would replace butter. Coconut flour or Almond meal would replace flour. And sugar would be eliminated or at the very least be replaced by honey or that rice malt syrup stuff.
So off I went, to my local organic shop! I bought the bare essentials and while it cost a small fortune, I was convinced I would turn us all into superfood, super-eating, cleany-clean individuals with beautiful pink insides that screamed out ‘the shit is out of our system! We are so healthy and amazing and we totally don’t miss those delicious, gooey, brownies Mamma bear used to make!‘
And so it begun. I made recipe upon recipe in great hope my family would quickly forget the bad bad bad snacks/cakes/desserts I used to make on occasion.
This is how it all went down:
Cacao and coconut muffins
Husband: These are really very difficult to eat.
Kids: Spat out with fingers desperately reaching for every rogue crumb in their mouth that they refused to swallow. I do believe ‘yuck’ was uttered a few times.
Apple ‘health’ muffins
Husband: These are really very difficult to eat
Kids: It only took a whiff for them to realise they won’t be sampling, probably due to the trauma caused by aforementioned ‘Cacao and Coconut Muffins’
Husband: They are okay. On the bad side of okay. And still quite difficult to eat
Kids: A bite and they have disappeared. Not the cookies, but the kids. The very obvious linseeds gave the health bomb away
Almond Butter Bliss balls
Husband: These are amazing *accompanied by a loud, very loud, sigh of relief*
Kids: Thoroughly enjoyed the ‘peanut butter balls’
Kids: Devoured the ‘chocolate balls’, requesting another each #win
So it became clear soon enough that while my family didn’t completely despise everything healthy as a junk replacement, I would have to make a few adjustments to my clean-eating regime. And besides, surely depriving everyone of all things yummy wasn’t the answer but rather… more health, less junk, being the idea, yo.
But don’t get me wrong – and here comes the disclaimer of I’m a really good Mother I promise, don’t judge me - despite the fact that we occasionally love foods on the clean-eating banned list … we are generally a pretty healthy family. We all love our veggies (except Miss 4. She thinks they are the work of the devil) and we regularly eat good, wholesome and home-cooked meals.
And as for hubby and I, sometimes, eating clean is even better when you do it out. This, my friends, is the ultimate breakfast. And it involves Kale.
This amazing 3-egg omelette is eaten once a week by Ma and Pa Caravella with a side of quinoa toast and green sauce which I am told is made of veggies, garlic, salt and pepper. Wowsers, indeed. And Newcastle peeps, the good news is that you too can eat this deliciousness at Goodness Me Organics in Adamstown (not sponsored, just totally and completely OBSESSED)
And today, I bought these lovely items (again, at a small fortune because these clean-eating individuals must be millionaires)
And they are all delightful.
I suppose the moral of the story is there are some amazing, healthy things available to buy and eat and devour and you actually won’t miss the crap you think you will. But sometimes… when you feel like a chocolate bloody brownie… Have that chocolate bloody brownie!
So… What’s your verdict? Do you try to eat clean? Have you tried and given up? Or not bothered because ALL THE SUGAR!All comments read, appreciated and responded to. So thank you x